Twenty-Nine and Single
by Sonia Arora
legs & arms splayed open a first-floor flower on a futon petal wide to moon
catching silver light through three bay windows the angle of each window
captures some degree of the rotation of the earth I too want to capture you
cast a net of constellations beyond the city of seven hills
I rise like the hand on the clock to meet the other It is 11:45
minute hand working its way to hour together they will be meeting at midnight
Something about this night the way stars glint against dome everything feels
spherical like the endless eggs inside me Here above city lights blinking
I am perched giving way to a new path to search for you who I never found
Tonight I am porous even membrane of window permeable my desire
roams without me just as my body hurdles outside the boundary without me
toes sinking into earth I have looked for you here in this city in classrooms
and ice-cream socials whiskey-soaked bars but I must wander longer
wider to find you with my eyes unpeeled in night lace I see my body
circum-sauntering the globe dodging monsters said to be at
edge of the earth’s surface perpendicular I am not falling off any edge
to hear the echo I might hear in the future of your voice loud insisting
with its unsolicited suggestions Your embrace one day Your hand upon
the curve of my hip weighty so I lift it off me for tonight and many
more nights
I sleep without you
catching silver light through three bay windows the angle of each window
captures some degree of the rotation of the earth I too want to capture you
cast a net of constellations beyond the city of seven hills
I rise like the hand on the clock to meet the other It is 11:45
minute hand working its way to hour together they will be meeting at midnight
Something about this night the way stars glint against dome everything feels
spherical like the endless eggs inside me Here above city lights blinking
I am perched giving way to a new path to search for you who I never found
Tonight I am porous even membrane of window permeable my desire
roams without me just as my body hurdles outside the boundary without me
toes sinking into earth I have looked for you here in this city in classrooms
and ice-cream socials whiskey-soaked bars but I must wander longer
wider to find you with my eyes unpeeled in night lace I see my body
circum-sauntering the globe dodging monsters said to be at
edge of the earth’s surface perpendicular I am not falling off any edge
to hear the echo I might hear in the future of your voice loud insisting
with its unsolicited suggestions Your embrace one day Your hand upon
the curve of my hip weighty so I lift it off me for tonight and many
more nights
I sleep without you
Sonia is trying to find the right balm to cure her diasporic funk. She channels her angst by walking every day. When it’s too cold she does Bhangra. Sonia has been published in Tinderbox Poetry Journal, Lunch Ticket, Rock Paper Poem, Sonic Boom and more. In her free time, she fights fascism and makes pumpkin roti. Last year, she received a grant from the New York Council on the Arts to work on a collection of poems entitled Rewilding: Native and Invasive Species. She is currently getting her MFA in poetry at CUNY Queens College. You can find some of her writing here: https://ed-lib.wixsite.com/home/publications