Can a Woman Write About Profound Joy?
by Carol Dorf

I was talking on the phone to my kid’s partner     which I have to say is not unusual for us    They call me on the walk   to the library      or to the supermarket for a bagette      which is a long way on a snowy day     not so far     on a dry one    On this day they were heading to the Elizabeth Bishop archive     which I want to see when I visit      They told me (warned me?) that the two of them were probably      not going to have children     I said (agreed?) I could see that     On the other hand     I said     I really loved being a mother     nothing else in my life     had felt more connected      Elizabeth Bishop never had children      though she had partners    and a house     for a while     That was a long time ago     Once I said or maybe more than once     to a friend     or maybe to more      than one friend      It is a shame there is no accidental     pregnancy in some circumstances      though most of my 20s were spent      worrying about my cycle    before I was reassured by my period     The pregnancy I had    was not accidental at all     which is maybe why     when I talk about being a mother      I remember the instants of joy      overshadowing     the laundry    and the night wakings.
 
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Carol Dorf is a Zoeglossia fellow, whose books include Theory-Headed Dragon. Their writing appears on the Poetry Foundation website, and in journals that include Pleiades, About Place, Cutthroat, Braving the Body, American Stories and Scientific American. Founding poetry editor of Talking Writing, they also taught math in Berkeley USD.